Becks on Serbia

Jelena Tomašević feat. Bora Dugic - Oro 5/5

Surprise, surprise - it seems the Serbians quite liked winning and are ready to give it another shot. The best trick in their book is to call upon super songwriter Željko Joksimović to write another grand ballad with ethnic touches, and so he did. It worked wonders with "Lane moje" and "Lejla", will this one go down a storm as well?

Jelena sings like a Balkan goddess and the whole song is a classy piece of art. But. I can't shake the feeling that we heard this before. Just as boring as when Sweden insisted on sending ABBA clones year after year, the Balkan Ethnic Ballad begins to feel a bit déjà-vu. It doesn't matter that "Oro" is a fantastic composition, I would have hoped for something more daring for Serbia this year. A step outside the given format.

Now it is "only" good and not as exciting as one would have hoped. It will do well, for sure, but the question is how well.

A possible winner?
No, I don't think so. The old juries could keep sending Irish ballads to number one until the sky would crack, but I think the televoters won't go for something as similar for two years in a row.

Becks on Spain

Rodolfo Chikilicuatre - Baila el chiki chiki 1/5

Oh, Spain. On some superficial level deep down, I can understand that the countries in the semi can reduce themselves to cheap comedy, but Spain with a steady seat in the final?

Well, if you want to be kind, you could say this sounds remotely like Manu Chau, which would be a good thing. It doesn't really ridicule the contest, but is more a parody of any kind of silly summer dance marketed by the record companies. And the dancers are sort of sweet in their own little way.

But it doesn't really own the genius of Alf Poier or Verka Serduchka, does it? Even if I can find it a bit funny at first, before the three minutes are over, I find myself so bored my teeth hurts.

A possible winner?
Yes. That is the worst thing about it. With a weak final or a bad draw towards the end, this could stand out for millions of people who would vote this into first place. But I hope it will be the flop it deserves to be.

Becks on France

Sébastien Tellier - Divine 5/5

If I didn't know better, I would think that France had taken my earlier advice seriously. I asked for something better than they had managed for the last few years, and preferrably somebody known with good record label backing. Bearing that in mind, "Divine" is a perfect ten.

It is in many other ways as well. It is an electronic take on the Beach Boys, full of 60's-references as well as many a sound from the most synthetic 80's performed in a most dead-pan way by a dark stranger with a beard. You just have to love that.

Or do you? I am pretty sure all the modern stuff and the performer himself will scare quite a few people off, and I can't see France as a real contender in the final. Sébastien Tellier should constitute a tiny step up the results, but I wouldn't even bet money on a top ten finish here.

But who cares? This is a song that will make the radios go crazy and at the beach this will sound perfect to almost everybody. The winner is not the one with the biggest number of points, but the one who benefits the most from participation.

A possible winner?
No, too weird and too distant for the average viewer. Unless there is a stage show to knock our socks off, then we could have a real surprise around the corner.

Becks on Germany

No Angels - Disappear 4/5

In one way as weird an idea as Spain last year: what is the point in sending a girl band (like Spain sent a boy band) so many years after the mania died out? Well, I have to say straight away that No Angels are way better than D*Nash can ever dream of becoming, and that is one thing. Another was that if Spice Girls can make a comeback, so can their German equivalent.

What they serve us is a piece of polished and posh radio pop; elegant, solid, sophisticated and tailormade to be played all summer on the various commercial stations around Europe. As long as they stay in tune, they are even VERY good for being a girl band.

But then there is a big "but" in this. German television should be handed a medal for their ability to send in domestic hit singles lately, but the voters around the continent have failed to pick up on the vibe. I never fell for Texas Lightning, but really dropped my jaw when Roger Cicero did so badly last year. And I am afraid the not-too-angelic girls could be headed in the same direction. Not that it matters much, as this adventure already gave them their biggest hit for many a good day.

A possible winner?
No. Just like the UK, it could even end up doing really badly in the end, but it would be about time that the German efforts started paying off.

Becks on United Kingdom

Andy Abraham - Even If 2/5

I don't know what evil the Brits ever did, but for the third time in six years they sing as number two in the final, a fate that could kill any song, according to the eurofans. But three times in the past did the UK make top four despite singing in second place (Kathy Kirby, Olivia Newton-John and Jessica Garlick all survived), so it isn't necessarily a complete kiss of death.

Not that the UK would need one this time around. Compared to Scooch and their breath-takingly pale nonsense, this song could qualify for a Musical Oscar or something, but it is still very far from being good enough. It is a lukewarm soul effort that goes on and on for three minutes without any major surprises or happenings. Most of all it makes me think it would have been most suitable as an album track for LondonBeat somewhere back in 1991. Not bad, but far from exciting.

Andy Abraham has a good voice, but looks about as much as a pop star as does my mother, and that could be a drawback in this cold, hard, superficial world where looks and stage acts counts for almost as much as your song.

And when the song isn't better than this, there is not much to hope for.

A possible winner?
No. Despite being quite good and even some people's favourite, this could easily be the one song to score a 14th place in every country and end up with nul points in the end. I don't hope for that to happen, but I wouldn't be too surprised either.

Becks on Portugal

Vânia Fernandes - Senhora do Mar 2/5

Portugal keeps trying and trying and trying. Being the one country keeping on the longest without ever winning is not fun, let me tell you all. And whatever the Portuguese has sent, Europe made thumbs down, more or less.

For a while, I thought RTP headed down the right street, sending Sofia Vitoria and 2B, both signalling more modern and contemporary sounds. A step in the right direction. Then Non-Stop came and ruined the whole thing, leaving the Portuguese confused.

So when self-proclaimed ESC master Andrej Babic comes running, they all fall for it and think he will be the key to success with this plastified fake-fado with it's pompous setting and make-believe emotion. I can stretch myself to finding it OK, but I think many people will fall for this.

In the final?
Yes, I think Portugal will finally make it there. Which is of course great fun for the Portuguese, but I would prefer them to send a home-crafted tune instead.

Becks on FYR Macedonia

Tamara, Vrčak & Adrijan - Let Me Love You 3/5

All the sad and bitter eurofans will curse and swear at this, but FYR Macedonia has really catapulted itself into a brilliant little ESC-nation, that managed to get themselves through to the final every time since the semis were introduced. Neighbour vote, cries the eurofans. Good acts, I say. (Well, the 2005 offering was dire, but apart from that...)

Also this year sees a very convincing act that is most likely to win a few votes before the show is over.

The only shadow in my mind is the change of language here. I'm not too sure about the english lyrics, and also the loss of melody in the chorus is a minus in my book. But the newly added violins are great, and the trio are most convincing anyway.

In the final?
Yes, but more towards the end of the result than the top, I believe.

Becks on Cyprus

Evdokia Kadi - Femme Fatale 3/5

Last year, Cyprus was one of the pre-favourites and then failed to even make it into the final. Of course it is easy to go a bit mad when things like these keep happening. But this mad?

All attempts at sounding modern or to please the general taste have been totally abandoned in favour of a complicated little ditty in Greek that is pretty hard to make head or tail of. A cabaret act for drunk tourists at some local taverna in Larnaca, performed by the local Liza Minnelli, still dreaming about her big break.

Of course there is something in this obnoxious package that really speaks out to me, and in the middle of all the mess with tempo changes and choruses and brass going berserk I find myself quite liking this. Sorry world, but that is just how weird I am.

In the final?
No, not even close. Who would vote for this? They won't even cash in on a Greek 12-pointer this year.

Becks on Malta

Morena - Vodka 2/5

I don't know what to say, really. This entire thing always leaves me speechless as there are more pros and cons than I could possibly handle on three minutes.

Plus: it is a lively number.
Minus: it is a complete mess.
Plus: Morena is a great singer.
Minus: the lyrics are incomprehensible.
Plus: the whole thing is not too serious.
Minus: the arrangement gives you a headache.
Plus: Morena really seem to believe in it.
Minus: the whole thing is so silly that had it been a Monty Python sketch, Graham Chapman would walk in and interrupt it before the first chorus.

Basically, I don't hate it, but I don't like it either. I believe Malta is having yet another go at the old Vertigo-trick, to take a weak song and overload it to the point of self-conbustion. Many people like this, but I think more people will sweat and wish for it to end.

In the final?
No. I think they will mess the whole thing up and scare voters off. Again. Let Borg/Vella have a few years of rest and let someone else write for Malta for a while.

Becks on Hungary

Csézy - Candlelight 3/5

Almost ten years ago, I found my first copy of Barbra Streisand's "Gulity" and the revolution was a fact. Impeccably produced, impeccably sung, elegant and sophisticated. My mind wanders to Barbra every time I hear the Hungarian entry.

It is, simply, breathtakingly elegant, especially when it is presented to you with such a lavish video clip. Csézy herself is also more like an elf than a regular singer, with a remarkable presence and emotion.

So why isn't it a full fiver? Mainly because it gets a bit too elegant for its own good. Elegant lives next door to Cold and Distant. This is not the song that will reach out and grab you, slap you and toss you around the room. Probably a bit too well-behaved to go far.

In the final?
No, I think it will get close but loose out by a few points. But it will live all summer on the more mature radio stations of Europe.

Becks on Georgia

Diana Gurtskaya - Peace Will Come 3/5

On a first glance, I wasn't charmed at all by this effort. A familiar-sounding sing-along about peace, something that has been tried out (far too) many times in the past. I was just about to push the fast forward-button, but then I listened a bit closer again.

And so I realised that the Georgian song is quite captivating, a bit like the Russian entry but with a stronger hook. Diana Gurtskaya is also a gripping personality, and her voice is instantly recognisable and will surely leave an impression on people.

Given Georgia's place in the world, next door to Chechnya, their own civil war not too far away in time and the current unrest with two regions of the country wanting to break away, it is not so surprising that the Georgians would want peace to come. That makes this peace plea more trustworthy than most of the others.

But it is still a far cry from last year's brilliance.

In the final?
Yes, probably. But not a real contender there.

Becks on Denmark

Simon Mathew - All Night Long 1/5

As previously stated, Bulgaria is doing everything in their power to develop the contest and make a difference. Denmark are trying, on the verge of self destruction, to do the opposite.

So let me start with the good parts. Simon Mathew is a star - charming and goodlooking with a good voice. The production is good and the whole thing sounds quite OK. But apart from that everything is just horrifically wrong. The song in itself is a whiter shade of pale and repeats itself until your brain turns to mush.

And, worst of all, this is not a temporary glitch, this is a pattern. Ever since the 2002 fiasco with a modern-sounding piece of pop, the Danes have aggressively stuck to being old-fashioned, outdated, plastic and irrelevant. And it doesn't suit them at all. Next year I would hope for almost anything from Denmark as long as it doesn't sound like this.

In the final?
No, probably not. But on the other hand, I never saw the genius of their 2005 ditty either.

Becks on Bulgaria

Deep Zone & Balthazar - DJ, Take Me Away 5/5

So, maybe this song isn't really a five-pointer. But what it may lack in the tune department, it clearly makes up for in packaging. I am wild with Bulgaria and their attempts of making things change in the land of Eurosongs.

The whole idea is brilliant: let's call up a dance collective so hip it hurts and ask them to provide a Eurovision entry that sounds anything but eurovisional. Rhythm, scratching, vocal effects, reggae, machine guns, well, you name it and they have it. That and a blonde singer in body paint. Who could ask for more?

Well, there is no key-change. Which is a shame, but there is more to life than key-changes.

The big question remains, however... Why is it Bulgaria that makes all this effort and not a great pop nation like the UK?

In the final?
Surely, yes.

Becks on Croatia

Kraljevi Ulice & 75 Cents - Romanca 5/5

What happened here? I must admit that when I first heard this song, I thought it was some kind of excerpt from some weird musical about an old man and his stick and decided it wouldn't stand a chance in the voting.

And then I read the lyrics and was absolutely taken by them, and when I heard the recorded version, I was sold. Now this is one of my top personal favourites of the year.

I don't expect it to win or anything, but I get both touched and moved and enthusiastic at the same time. Very engaging, indeed. The only slight problem is the old man himself, who got a bit carried away during the live performance and got a bit too shouty and loud and out of tune, and if they don't fine-tune him a bit, we could have a real Severina-moment on our hands here (strong entry ruined by a performer who totally overdid the whole thing and scared the viewers instead of charming them).

The song in itself is sweet and melancholic, and the bad conscience in a world where youth is everything and nobody values experience anymore.

In the final?
Yes, I think this will convince more people than just me, as long as the old-timer behaves and keeps his shirt on.

Becks on Latvia

Pirates of the Sea - Wolves of the Sea 0/5

If you wondered why I struggled to stay so nice towards Lithuania before, it is just because they are so much better behaved than their Baltic brothers. The Lithuanian vocal exercise may be dull, but at least it is not offensive. But this...?

To make one thing perfectly clear - I am a big fan of Latvia. Riga is one of my favourite cities and Latvians are great people. But they are not making it easy for me and they really put my love to the test here.

This is simply horrific. An insult towards intelligence, taste and music. Grown-ups dressing up as pirates, singing badly, looking a bit embarrassed themselves. Well, they ought to be.

Out of the horrific entries, and there are quite a few this year, this is the worst of the worst. And to top it off - it is written by Swedes. What is everyone in Latvia up to? Bring us some domestic quality next year, but stop the madness. Now.

In the final?
No, no, no. (I know I am probably wrong, but I refuse to accept it before it even happens.)

Becks on Belarus

Ruslan Alehno - Hasta la vista 2/5

This could have been good. Or at least, it could have been a lot better. The basic foundation is not too bad, a quite hooky little chorus that could have turned into a real disco stomper with some know-how.

Instead, the resposibles put this disco bunny in a flannel shirt and the rest is, well, history.

Ruslan is fighting bravely against his self-proclaimed lack of knowledge of English and he is far from making a fool of himself. But we are not headed for Minsk next year.

In the final?
No, unless there is a large fanbase of boring late-80's soft radio rock out there voting.

Becks on Czech Republic

Tereza Kerndlovà - Have Some Fun 2/5

Young Tereza is so sweet you could have her for dessert, and her gentle pop song is very much the same. It sounds so genuinely nice you would want to ask it out for some coffee in the sunshine. You wouldn't mind hearing it on the radio all summer. But would you vote for it?

The answer is probably "no".

I am a big supporter of the Czech entries to Eurovision, as they have managed to make rather impressive national finals until now, but I doubt this attempt will lead them into the final. "Nice" will never win a televote.

In the final?
No. Many will like it, but few will vote for it.

Becks on Switzerland

Paolo Meneguzzi - Era stupendo 5/5

In my childhood, I used to like Switzerland every year. I even used to like them a lot. Daniela Simons, Carol Rich and even Mariella Farré (fancy that!) were top items in my shop and the Swiss flag always looked so pretty on the scoreboard.

And then the Swiss lost everything they had and got lost in some kind of half-hearted attempt to please everyone and not enrage anyone. Their songs were polite little songs that nobody cared much for (even if Barbara Berta, Jane Boogaert and especially Gunvor deserved a lot more) and the Swiss became one of the least important countries in this contest.

So much better to see them back in form. Superb super sized Italian ballad turns into a soft rocker without confusing its audience, beautifully belted out by Sanremo starlet Paolo, who (let's be shallow and honest) is a great singer in addition to being very easy on the eye.

Isn't it so that european radio very much has dropped Eros Ramazzotti lately? I belive there is a gap to fill and that Paolo, if he plays his cards correctly, could have a shot at that.

And I would not be too surprised if this is the way a winner sounds come May 24th.

In the final?
Yes, and it will do very well there.

Becks on Albania

Olta Boka - Zemrën e lamë peng 4/5

I saw what I wrote about this one when it won the Albanian final back in December... and I can clearly remember why I thought the way I did. This song was far too nice for its own good, as nobody votes for nice in televotings.

But as always, the Albanians have made quite an effort to make their song improve, and the new version is most melodic and appealing. Olta sings like an Albanian dream and the lyrics come across as so soft and harmonious.

Albania is one of those countries I always want to like, and I really like them this year and wish them success. I only wish I could say I belived in this and truly believe myself.

Maybe it is still just too... nice?

In the final?
No, I am afraid not. But I want it to be.

Becks on Lithuania

Jeronimas Milius - Nomads In The Night 1/5

Let's start with the positive stuff. For the second year running, the Lithuanian televoters went for songs that stray from the typical euroformula in favour of something more melodic and low-key. Fine by me.

This young man, sporting his nicest leather trousers, wrote the song himself and found a rather pretty melody line which, given a solid performance, could have sounded very well in a popular local musical.

But unfortunately, the singing does not match up the quality of the song. (Can you tell that I am struggling to keep this nice? I think Jeronimas seems to be a nice bloke, and I have no reason to be unfriendly towards Lithuania.)

This won't do, though. If you listen carefully, you will hear the sound of coffee machines getting turned on all over Europe at exactly the same time during this number.

In the final?
No. And that's final.